


The World Going By My Window

by CaibrynM



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Mostly Fluff, Strangers to Lovers, Villager!Phil, non youtuber au, prince!Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 03:52:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19782682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaibrynM/pseuds/CaibrynM
Summary: Dan is a reluctant Crown Prince, always watching the world outside his window and wondering what else is out there. As he walks through the village outside the Castle walls one day, he meets an quirky villager with a passion for nature, an oddly constructed house, and a secretive past.





	The World Going By My Window

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the @phandomreversebang. This was inspired by the incredible art work done by @jorzuela. And huge thank you to @unhawkeye for being an awesome beta. And to both of you for the encouragement as we went along. This got a bit long, but it was a great experience all around.
> 
> Inspired by [**this**](https://jorzuela.tumblr.com/post/186260605147/these-are-my-art-pieces-for-the%20rel=) artwork. They’re beautiful. Check them out!

It wasn’t lost on Dan, the dichotomy he felt on days like this. He was the prince after all; the eldest heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Ryphor. His future was set in stone. But having his life laid out for him also meant that he lacked personal freedoms. 

It was a deep-rooted restlessness, the rampant desire to have the freedom to find himself, that rose unbidden on these occasions. So Dan did what he always did: he hid himself away in his room. He was sat on his plush window seat, surrounded by hand-stitched cushions and throws. Elegant gold drapes framed the large picture windows and marble sills. As a general rule, Dan hated the drapes. They were gaudy and bright and far too colourful for his monochrome tastes. But the windows were his outlet to the world on days when he felt trapped, so he put up with them. Outside, the trees swayed in the breeze and the fallen leaves chased each other across the cobblestone courtyard. Trees dotted the landscape, surrounding the modest dwellings and dirt paths that stretched out in every direction. Those he could see wound through the villages to the forest on the horizon. Some paths led around the castle and down to the harbor, where merchant ships came and went, bringing trades and goods from kingdoms across the sea. 

Dan was jostled from his spiraling thoughts by a loud knock at his door. “Enter!” he called out.

A young castle servant entered the room, head bowed. Dan stood and turned towards the young man. 

“Her Majesty has asked for your presence in the Royal Lounge, Your Highness.”

A sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach, but he willed himself not to show it to the young servant. “You can inform her I’m on my way.” 

“Yes, Your Highness.” The servant bowed, then quickly turned and left. 

Dan flopped back on his bed with a loud groan. So much for moping in his room all day.

****

The royal lounge was an intimate room on the opposite side of the castle from Dan’s quarters. It was formal but comfortable, with stunning views of the sea through the floor-to-ceiling windows that lined the eastern wall. Dan stood tall and firm before his mother, but he’d long since stopped listening to what she was saying. His thoughts followed his gaze to the sunbeams dancing off the waves, and he wondered, not for the first time, what a sea merchant’s life must be like.

“Alright, Daniel. You’ve not heard a word I’ve said.” 

Dan was brought back to reality when he heard his name. Karen was clearly cross; her voice stern and her expression not at all amused. He lifted his hand to the back of his neck as a nervous gesture and started to worry his lower lip between his teeth. “I mean, I heard some of it.” 

His half-hearted response was met with two raised eyebrows. 

“Okay, maybe not most of it.” He hung his head and tried desperately to appear contrite.

“Alright, enough of that as well. What’s wrong?” Karen’s face softened as she reached out to lift his chin with her hand.

He met his mum’s gaze and felt himself relax. Sometimes, he realized, she really did understand him; not that he’d ever acknowledge that fact. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders and glanced out again towards the sea. 

“Yes, well. I was _saying_ , Daniel, that it’s been a good fortnight since you’ve been out to greet the people. I think you need to spend some time outside of your bedroom and the great hall.” 

Panic briefly paralyzed Dan. He was uncomfortable with spur of the moment, forced interactions; always coming away feeling as though he could have handled himself just slightly differently. But something about today felt different, and the protest he’d been forming in his mind died on his tongue. It wasn’t that he _wanted_ to go out and face the masses. Rather, Dan realized, this was his mother offering him free reign to the outside, to experience that moment of freedom, no matter how brief, that he so desired. He glanced out at the sea one last time before nodding along impatiently as he waited to be dismissed. 

Dressed in beige trousers, a dark purple shirt and wrapped in his black cape, Dan stepped out into the sunlight, sword hanging easily by his side. As he passed through the castle gate into the outer courtyard, he slowed down and watched the hustle around him. For a few moments, no one seemed to realize he was there, and he watched as merchants tended to their shops and nobles mingled amongst themselves. He wondered idly what their burdens were; if they were happy and content with their lives or if they also had moments in which they wished for someone else’s. He supposed that many of them would trade places with him if given the opportunity. The nobles, he knew, were burdened to some extent by the expectations of high society, just as he was. They were just as much at the mercy of King Timothy and Queen Karen, if not more so. Dan could acknowledge to himself that he likely got away with far more, being not only their son but also the Crown Prince. 

“Your Highness!” Dan was dragged back to reality by a loud, excited squeal in front of him. The source of the shrill sound was a young woman who had collapsed in front of him in an exaggerated bow. “It’s wonderful to see you. Might I accompany you?” 

The young woman, whom Dan recognized as the daughter of the Count and Countess, extended her hand to him as she stood back up. 

“Lady Alice,” Dan smiled at her and took the offered hand to help her stand, “how kind of you to offer, but I’m afraid I’m not looking for an escort today. Perhaps another time?”

“Yes, of course, Your Highness.” 

Dan nodded politely and excused himself. 

“Sire, where is your escort?” One of the castle guards asked as Dan reached the outer gate. 

“I’m on my own today.” Dan started, but seeing the skeptical expression on the man’s face, quickly added, “It’s been cleared with the Queen.” It was only when the guard moved to let Dan pass, and relief washed over him, that he realized how tense he’d become.

Finally outside the gate, the tension fully evaporated from Dan’s body. The trees and dirt paths and modest dwellings were no longer specs visible only through his windows. Dan was surrounded by rolling hills and countryside, as well as trees on either side of the path he’d chosen. He studied the villagers’ houses as he passed by. The thatched dwellings were modest but comforting. There were children playing in small gardens. Women and men alike tending to various chores. Knickers hung from an occasional clothesline, and Dan wondered briefly what the punishment would be for having his own hung out on display. As he walked along he acknowledged the villagers who addressed him directly, but stayed to himself otherwise. 

Ahead of him loomed the deeper part of the forest. The tales spun to him as a youngster told of wood nymphs and shadowy creatures who hid behind trees and preyed on those who dared disturb them. All fantasies and fables to be sure, but they filled Dan’s head with irrational fear nonetheless. 

He was about to turn around when he spotted the oddest looking house just ahead of him. The house itself wasn’t particularly eccentric. But its only entrance was a door that looked entirely too small for someone of normal height to fit through. He gaped at the door for a moment, debating internally about who could possibly live there. The house sat amongst a light smattering of trees, one in particular seemed to be hugging the yellow thatched roof. The grass separating the house from the path was thick and lush, and looked much softer than the hard packed road on which he’d been travelling. 

Dan’s eyes then landed on a single stump just off the path next to the house, which he reckoned could support his lazy ass while he rested his aching feet. He sat himself down, removing his cape as he did so in order to cool off. 

“She’s more comfortable than she looks, then?” A deep voice bellowed behind Dan. Startled, he jumped up and spun around, accidentally dropping his cape in the process. 

The owner of the voice was a tall man, nearly Dan’s height. His light green trousers and pink shirt contrasted perfectly with his jet black hair and pale white skin. The bright colours were unusual on a villager, Dan noted silently. Raking his eyes up the man’s long, lean body, he met a pair of obviously amused blue eyes staring back at him. Dan flushed as he realized he’d been caught staring. 

Blinking several times to break the spell, he finally muttered a rather confused “she?” in response.

“Penelope,” the man replied, pointing towards the stump that Dan had just vacated.

“Penelope,” Dan repeated slowly. He was sure the confusion was etched across his face.

Dan shifted on his still aching feet as an awkward silence descended upon them. “I didn’t mean to intrude upon… _Penelope_ ,” he finally settled on as a response. “I was merely looking for somewhere to rest before turning back.”

“Ah, well, don’t stand on my account. I reckon you’re tired if you’ve found yourself out here with not even a horse. Do you have far to go?”

Dan smiled gently and sat back down, grateful for the relief. “Not too far. I’ll be home by nightfall, anyway. Just a bit of a walk.” 

Dan reached down to reclaim his lost cape, fixing it back across his shoulders. As he did so, the man’s eyes opened wide, recognition, and something else that Dan couldn’t quite identify, flashing across his face.

“Your Highness. I apologize. I didn’t recognize you. I’m not used to visitors this far out of town.” 

“No need to apologize,” Dan assured him. He nodded towards the house with the strange door, “is this your dwelling?” 

The man shrugged. “Aye, yes. I guess you could say I prefer it out here with my plants and the trees and…”

“And Penelope,” Dan cut in, patting the stump beneath him and causing the man to break out into a full-watt smile. Something he wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge fluttered in Dan’s stomach.

“And Penelope, yes. I, uh, I name my plants. It’s a bit of an oddity, I reckon. That tree there is Patience,” he pointed to the large tree that Dan had earlier noted hugging the roof,“ and Prudence is inside. She keeps me company at night.” 

The man rambled on in what Dan decided was a completely chaotic, yet entirely endearing way. 

“I’m sorry,” he practically whispered, as though just realizing Dan was staring at him, “it gets a bit lonely out here.”

There was an innocence edged with melancholy in the man’s admission, and Dan was overcome with a sudden need to pull this man into his arms and comfort him. He stood and nodded instead, hoping that he appeared calm and unaffected by the butterflies racing through his insides. 

“I’m sure it does. Uh, I didn’t catch your name.” 

“Philip, Your Highness. Most people call me Phil.” 

“Phil.” Dan repeated, testing out the name. “You can call me Dan.” 

He watched as Phil’s eyes widened slightly, but he nodded and, almost as an afterthought, bowed his head.

“Oh, Phil?” Dan called out just as he was about to turn and wander back off towards the castle, “did you build this yourself?”

Phil nodded sheepishly, “yes, sir. I’m not much of a handyman. But she’s solid.”

“Indeed.” Dan took one last look at the door before glancing back at Phil. He let his lips curl up into a smirk, and began his trek back home.

****

Over the next several weeks, Dan did his best to keep himself busy with his royal duties: establishing trade routes with other kingdoms, mediating land disputes among nobles, and entertaining commoners who called for an audience with the royal family. But the restlessness was always bubbling just below the surface, ready to erupt. 

One day, as he sat in on a meeting with his parents, his gaze drifted once more out the large windows lining the walls. Somewhere out there was the root cause of his agitation. Dan shifted slightly in his seat, trying to see beyond the castle wall. He wondered what Phil did with his days, if he just sat around naming all of his plants or if he had something else to occupy his time.

His mother shot him a silent warning and he settled back down, pushing Phil out of his mind for the time being. 

The conversation shifted to a land claim dispute and Dan huffed out a sigh. Letting his attention roam once more, he found himself watching the activity in the courtyard. 

He easily caught a glimpse of two young women laughing joyfully, one of whom he recognized as Lady Alice. Dan pursed his lips thoughtfully and allowed himself to study her for a moment. She was objectively attractive. Her long brown hair was always meticulously done up with braids and ribbons. Her gowns were made of the finest fabrics, though they reminded Dan of the forsaken curtains in his room. Her face was fresh, without decoration, and her smile was bright and genuine. Admittedly, her voice was a bit shrill, but from where he sat, she was pleasant enough. Seeing her now reminded him of a recent conversation he had with his mother.

_“Daniel,” Karen had approached him as he was preparing to retire, “I was lunching with Countess Isabella this afternoon. We should have Lady Alice to tea.”_

_Dan had rolled his eyes. “I’m not interested in Lady Alice, mother. Surely the countess has more suitable options for her daughter.”_

_“Dan,” Karen had walked over to him, grasping his hands and peering into his eyes, “Someday you will have to make a decision. Lady Alice is well respected. I’m sure she has many suitors. But she desires you.”_

_“Of course she does, mother. I’m the Crown Prince of Ryphor. I come with titles and lands and riches.” Dan had pulled his hands away and folded them over his body._

_“I know it’s difficult, Daniel, but…”_

_“I’m not interested. I’ll never be interested in her.” Dan rebuffed, irritation evident in his tone._

The conversation had only added to his building discomfit. Outside, Alice and the other woman turned towards a row of merchants and wandered out of his view. 

His mother, surprisingly, hadn’t been angry at his outburst. She had smiled at him and responded as calmly as she could. She understood her son’s moods better than anyone. Dan suspected that deep down she knew even more than she let on. The subject of tea hadn’t been broached again, for which Dan was eternally grateful. He wasn’t interested in Lady Alice or Lady Caroline or Lady Elizabeth or Lady _anyone_ , for that matter. He needed to get out of the castle. He needed to go back out to see Phil. 

****

He snuck out through the postern gate on horseback this time. His stomach was churning with nervous anticipation, preventing Dan from relaxing as he made his way out to the far edge of the village. As the small house came into view, the nerves threatened to overtake his resolve. 

Dan stilled his horse and breathed deeply, letting the feeling of solitude wash over him. Castle life was full of people: his parents, his energetic but annoying younger brother, the servants, maids, pages and other staff. There was almost _always_ someone around. Stolen moments in which he could just sit alone were few and far between. He needed this moment to calm himself down, and slowly he felt the tension and nervous energy release their death grip on his insides. 

As Dan dismounted his horse, the nerves turned into giddy excitement at the thought of finally seeing Phil again. After glancing around and seeing no one, he walked carefully over to Penelope. 

“Hello, Penelope. How are you today?” he asked the stump, recalling the unusual introduction.

“Prince Daniel, you’ve returned.” 

Dan turned just in time to see Phil literally duck through the door of the house. He couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. 

“Is everything okay?” Phil asked, confusion etched across his face.

“How can you even get through there?” Dan asked as his laughter settled. 

Phil frowned, but glanced back at the door before grinning at Dan. “I may not have measured it accurately. It suits me, though, I think. A bit of a misfit.”

Dan’s witty retort died in his throat as Phil straightened himself up and stepped closer. 

Phil was stood there in a more tightly-fitting shirt than what he had worn upon their first meeting. It was partially untucked from his trousers, with the sleeves rolled up to show well-defined forearms. His fringe was a bit disheveled as though he’d been running his hands through it. 

Dan swallowed thickly and tried to focus back on Phil’s face. 

“I don’t know about the misfit part,” Dan finally stammered out. “I mean, you seem to be well fit.” 

Phil blinked at him. 

Dan visibly cringed as he realized what he’d said, but carried on, quickly changing the subject. “Have I caught you at a bad time?”

“No?”

Dan couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that a question?”

“Huh? Oh, no, no. I was about to head into the forest for supplies, but it can wait. If you need something, that is. Have you come for ointment? My stock is a bit low, but I’m sure I have something I can offer you.”

“Ointment?” Dan asked, his head shaking in confusion.

“Oh. I assumed… I mean... are you not here for supplies?”

“Phil, I don’t have the slightest clue what you’re on about. I was out on my horse and decided to stop by. But if you’re busy, I can come back.” Dan paused, uncertainty and nerves beginning to take shape in the pit of his stomach. “Or you could tell me more about these ointments of yours.”

“Ointments. Right. I sell them. For healing. I was heading into the forest to restock some supplies. If, uh, if you want to come with?”

“You’re a healer?” Dan was sure that his genuine surprise seeped through every word. Phil didn’t remind him much of the castle healers that he knew.

“Oh, no, not quite. I’m just well versed in herbal remedies. I sell them at the market. I’m due there this fortnight, but I’m low on some ingredients.”

Phil was biting his lip and rocking back on his heels, nervous energy radiating off of him. His eyes darted from Dan’s to the forest’s edge, silently repeating the question he’d previously asked. 

Dan took a deep breath and followed Phil’s gaze to the treeline. The sunlight that shone through the dense leaves cast shadows that moved along with the breeze and disappeared into the darkness of the trees. Dan shivered as irrational thoughts began to overwhelm him. It was as if the shadow creatures were taunting him. He only hoped the fear wasn’t evident on his face as he turned back to Phil, who, to his credit, was standing there, a bit more confidently now, with his head slightly tilted, but clearly not at all judging the giant man-baby in front of him.

“It’s dark in there,” Dan finally muttered quietly, dropping his eyes to the ground, overcome with embarrassment but unable to think of any other excuse.

“It is. There’s enough sunlight to follow the path, though,” Phil replied, before suddenly quirking his eyebrow as realization dawned. “Are you afraid of the dark?”

Dan glanced back up, teeth clamped down tightly around his lower lip. “It’s not exactly the dark,” Dan mumbled, “it’s the trees. Or, like, the shadows between the trees.”

“You’re afraid of the shadows?” Phil asked a bit incredulously. 

Dan shrugged and looked back at the ground. To acknowledge his fear meant opening himself up to this man, this stranger he’d met only twice. Vulnerability wasn’t something Dan was used to letting others see. But there was something warm and comforting about Phil, something that pushed against all the walls Dan had in place to protect himself. So he explained, “when I was younger I had a friend in the Castle. We’d sneak off sometimes and just play games or you know, tell each other stories. Most of her stories were about the forest and the shadow beasts and sprites and wood nymphs who lived there, waiting to prey on anyone who disturbed them. I guess they stayed with me. I just. I see shadows and my brain starts telling me things.” 

“My brain tells me things too, sometimes.” 

Dan looked up quickly, startled by the gentleness and understanding lacing Phil’s simple statement. He watched as Phil reached down and grabbed a rucksack by his feet. As he lifted it across his shoulders, he held out his hand for Dan. 

The shadows were still dancing around the path through the forest, laughing at Dan and his foolishness. But Dan turned his eyes back to Phil, and with one last deep breath he reached out and took Phil’s hand. 

It wasn’t some magic elixir to cure all of his fears. Dan’s nerves were still on high alert. But Phil’s hand was warm and comforting, and the gentle reassuring squeezes whenever Dan tensed up served their purpose. Soon enough Dan’s insides were fluttering for an entirely different reason. Phil was clearly focused on trying to keep Dan preoccupied, and as they walked along he pointed out specific leaves and plants and various mosses growing along the path. 

Dan wasn’t really paying attention to the words. There was a giddy excitement in the way Phil spoke about things he truly enjoyed. Dan wondered what that must feel like, to find such pure, childlike joy in any single activity.

“Here.” Phil stopped suddenly as they came to a clearing where several wild plants and bushes were growing. 

Dan’s thoughts vanished as he turned his attention towards the direction Phil was pointing. 

“There is some barberry here, and the burdock plants grow that way. Then we’ll pick up some moss on the way back. I, um, I also need some yarrow, but it’s a bit of a hike to the open part of the forest where that plant grows. If you’re not up for it, I can come back later.”

As Dan was considering his response, Phil excitedly began showing him how to harvest the necessary parts of the plants. 

“What do you use this for?” Dan asked as he helped pull one of the plants from the ground. He watched as Phil carefully cut off the roots and loaded them into a small bag inside the rucksack.

“I’ll dry out these roots and they can be sold as a diuretic.”

Dan nodded. He looked back across the field to where the forest grew dense once again. “We... we can go get your other plant, if you want. It’s okay.” 

“Okay, then, this way.” Phil led them across the clearing to the far path. “The forest opens up again, it won’t be long. The yarrow plant likes the open forest more so than the denseness of this part.”

“How did you learn so much about these plants?” Dan asked. 

A brief flash of something clouded Phil’s expression. Was it panic or sadness? Whatever it was was quickly replaced by the exuberant smile that had been there for most of the day. 

“Like you, I had a few friends when I was younger. One was the son of the… of a healer. He used to let us go into his workshop and he’d show us the plants. Tell us which ones we could grow ourselves, which ones were better harvested from the forest, from clearings, you know. I was... well, I was supposed to, uh, help out with my family’s work, you know?” 

Phil stopped talking. Dan was sure this time that there was more to this memory than Phil was letting on. His gaze fell on something in the distance, as though he was remembering something from his past.

“Anyway, I was intrigued by the medicine, but mostly by the process. It always seemed so much like magic. My friend’s father, people thought he was a wizard. He wasn’t, of course, but it looks a bit like using magic. Like potions and spells. Making magic happen with plants. I didn’t want to become a healer,” Phil paused and glanced at Dan, shrugging his shoulders briefly as he added, “I’m not really good with people. I just loved the plants.”

“How did your family react? Do you still see them?” Dan asked carefully.

Phil stilled for the briefest of moments and Dan worried that he had pushed Phil too hard.

“I’m sorry, Phil. You don’t have to answer that. I shouldn’t have asked…” he started, words spilling out quickly. 

Phil interrupted him with a quick shake of his head, “no. It… It’s fine. I see them once a year. They live well far, about a full day’s travel by foot.”

“You’re not native to Ryphor, then?” 

Phil looked as though he was debating the answer to that question when suddenly he jumped and pointed to what appeared to be an opening in the trees, “here we are. The Yarrow is there.”

Phil’s demeanor instantly changed and Dan knew that was the end of the conversation. He stood off to the side and watched, fully enraptured, as Phil carefully harvested what he needed, taking care not to damage the remaining plants. 

As they made the trek back through the forest, Phil paused a few times to gather additional items: berries, leaves, various types of moss. But other than some brief explanations about their uses, the two were relatively quiet. Dan found that he could actually somewhat enjoy the quiet nature of the forest. There were no demonic creatures jumping out at him, despite what his brain wanted to tell him; only an occasional squirrel or chipmunk scurrying up a nearby tree, or a snake curled up watching from the side of the path, or a bird singing high above them. 

“Was that awful?” Phil asked as his house came back in view. 

“No,” Dan replied truthfully. 

At the same time, both men glanced down to where their hands were still joined. A smile ghosted across Phil’s face and Dan could feel him loosen his grip. Dan dropped his hand reluctantly, immediately regretting the loss.

“Anyway,” Dan cleared his throat and looked back up to meet Phil’s eyes, “thank you for today.” He hoped he could convey just how much he appreciated what Phil had done for him, that it was more than just helping him overcome an irrational fear of non-existent shadow creatures. He let his gaze drift off in the direction of the castle, the outer walls and keep just visible against the sea on the horizon. “It’s calming here. I feel more like myself than I do in there, sometimes.”

“Your Highness is welcome anytime,” Phil responded softly.

Dan looked back over at Phil, “be careful what you offer.”

Phil just smiled in return, and the two said their goodbyes. 

****

“Something’s going on with you.” 

Dan was sat on his window seat once again, reading over some papers that his mother had presented to him. His younger brother, Adrian, was lying on his bed, fiddling with a wooden block puzzle that Dan kept on his bedside table. 

“Sod off. There is not,” Dan responded automatically. 

“Mhm. And I’ll find out, too.”

“If you’re going to be a pratt, you can fuck off to your own chambers, you know.” Dan shot his brother a glare.

“I’ll tell mum you’re using curse words.”

“You won’t, either.” Dan finally sighed and put the papers down, “why are you here bothering me?”

“You used to hang out with me. But now, it seems whenever I try to find you, you’ve gone out. So, something’s going on. Have you taken up with a secret maiden?”

“God, no. I’m just out meeting people; being a presence in their daily lives; bringing the royal family to the commoners.”

“Okay, mum. That’s a load of horseshit.”

“Curse words, Adrian, really. _Do_ act more like royalty,” Dan smirked and tried to go back to the papers in front of him. 

He glanced at his brother out of the corner of his eye. Adrian was several years younger than Dan, and yet they looked very much alike. He was a bit of a brat, but he was, after all, still a teenager. He didn’t have the responsibilities that Dan had, a fact that often left Dan feeling a bit jealous. He lifted his head and looked out the window. From here he could just make out the path that wound its way through the villages and towards Phil’s forest, as he’d come to think of it. 

Dan sighed. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be one of them?” he asked without looking over at Adrian.

“Mmm, not really. Why, do you?”

Dan turned to meet Adrian’s questioning stare. “I don’t know. Maybe a little.” He dropped his gaze and shuffled the papers in his hand. “Not like I would want to walk away or abdicate or anything. It's not that. Just sometimes this feels restrictive, doesn’t it?” 

He peaked back over to gauge Adrian’s reaction.

“Is that why you’ve been taking off so often?”

Dan shrugged, “that’s part of it. A big part of it, I guess. But anyway, it’s not that often.”

“Often enough that mum and dad have noticed.”

“What?” 

That caught Dan off guard. He should have expected it, in hindsight. Nothing really got past the King and Queen. But he thought he’d been stealthy enough.

“Are you here to spy on me?” He narrowed his eyes.

Adrian just shook his head, “nope. I mean, I can’t say that mum didn’t ask me what I knew. But I don’t know anything, now, do I?”

Dan smiled. They didn’t always get along, and more often than not his brother was a pain in the royal arse, but they really did have each other’s backs. Dan wouldn’t trade that for the world. 

“Fine, then. Can I get my work done now, please? Mum will have my head if I’ve not read over these before the dinner tomorrow night.”

Adrian rolled off the bed and made a face to Dan as he walked towards the door. “Just keep out of her knickers, whoever she is. If you knock up some commoner, dad will have you exiled and then I’ll have to be King someday.” 

Adrian ducked out of the room with a chuckle just as a pillow came flying at his head. 

****

Dan knew that he couldn’t risk heading out to see Phil again so soon. Especially now that Adrian had let slip that his parents were aware of his actions, even if they didn’t know the specifics. Instead, he waited until the day of the trader’s market to wander to the outer courtyard where the villagers traded and sold their goods every fortnight. 

He couldn’t help but hope that this was what Phil had been stocking up for. 

The temporary shops lined the sides of the large common area. They were mixed in with more permanent buildings, as well as shops that were open daily – like the cooper, the blacksmith, and the cobbler. Many of the merchants were local, but some came from great distances and foreign kingdoms to sell their wares. 

Dan generally tried to stay inside when the market was in town. There were far too many people bartering and yelling and pushing each other for his taste. Unfortunately, it also meant that he wasn’t familiar with how the merchants organized their stalls. He had thrown on a rather nondescript cloak, hood raised over his head, and his oldest and most well-used boots on his feet in a desperate attempt to avoid being recognized. The saving grace was that most of the nobles stayed out of town on merchant day themselves, sending their staff to do their bidding in their stead. So, there were fewer people with whom he was intimately familiar. 

He let his eyes wander through the crowds of people. He walked through several rows of braided rugs and hand stitched clothing, textiles, silk, hand tools and the like. Off to his far left, down a more narrow street, he heard what sounded like younger children taunting someone. Shouts of “wizard” and “witch” and “evil potions” piqued Dan’s curiosity, so he rounded the corner but stood out of sight to watch the scene unfolding in front of him. 

There was a small stall set up with several jars and pouches lined up, in front of which an older man stood, lifting a few of the offerings, looking them over. Two young boys tugged on his cloak. The boys then turned their attention back to the shop owner and taunted him some more while the older man made no motion at all to stop them. 

Dan’s eyes narrowed, wondering how someone could be so cruel to another person, and angled his neck to catch a glimpse of the merchant. 

When the merchant turned around, Dan’s eyes went wide. 

He wanted to step out and yell at the man and his two rotten children, but just then he made his purchase and wandered off. 

Dan’s eyes followed him, committing his appearance to memory just as two women walked by next, leaving a wide berth between them and Phil’s stall. 

“You’ll not curse us with your magic elixirs,” he heard them call out as they walked by. 

Phil’s shoulders seemed to sag slightly, and Dan couldn’t stand it any longer. 

As the women walked by him, he beckoned them over and dropped his hood. He nodded in Phil’s direction, “what problem have you with that merchant?” 

The women gasped slightly and dropped to curtsy. “He’s a magician, Your Highness. People say he sells potions and can cast a curse on those who won’t trade with him,” they explained.

Dan scoffed, “surely you don’t believe that.” 

“He’s very odd, Prince Daniel,” the other woman replied, nodding fervently. 

“Have you ever purchased from him?”

“Oh no, we don’t dare to.”

“Has he cursed you, then?”

The women stopped short, glancing at each other before frowning back at Dan.

“He’s selling healing remedies. There’s nothing magical or evil about them. He’ll not curse you, and it’s doubtful that he’s ever said anything unkind to or about you. Yet here you are belittling him,” Dan spit out with as much distaste as he could muster.

“It’s not just us, sire. Everyone knows it.”

“Well, _I_ don’t know it,” Dan said, glaring at the two women who were now frozen in place, staring back at him with wide eyes. 

Dan let out a loud sigh and turned away from them without so much as a nod good day. He knew that as soon as they scurried away, word that he was out in town would spread, so there was no use in covering up anymore. 

He decided to walk over to see Phil. 

Another man was standing at Phil’s stall as Dan made his way over. This one Dan recognized as Aaron, an apprentice of one of the castle healers. 

“Your Highness,” Aaron acknowledged Dan and bowed before him.

“Aaron. Stocking up on medicines, I see?”

He stood and nodded politely, “yes, sir. Are you familiar with Phil’s merchandise, then?”

Dan glanced over to Phil who was clearly shocked to see Dan standing there. “I am, indeed. I’ll not interrupt your purchase. I just came to have a word with my friend, here.” 

Aaron glanced quickly between the two men. He handed Phil some coins, gathered up a few items, then nodded respectfully to Dan before turning away.

“You came here to see me?” Phil asked with raised eyebrows.

“How much longer are you here?” Dan asked, ignoring Phil’s question.

“Til dusk. It’s not as busy today as some, so I don’t think I’ll run out of stock first.”

Dan nodded and hopped up to sit on the table in front of Phil.

Phil quickly tutted at Dan, “get up off my table. You’ll break it in two and ruin my goods.”

Dan huffed indignantly, but made no move to get down. “Well, where am I meant to sit then?” 

“You’ve two feet, Dan. Use them.”

“Rude,” Dan muttered under his breath to an amused chuckle from Phil but moved back to stand anyway.

Phil cocked his head to the side, “you didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh, well, clearly I need some…” Dan glanced down at the items spread out before him and picked up the first jar he found, “... some of this.”

Phil tried desperately to stifle the giggle that was threatening to escape. “That's for leprosy.” 

Dan glanced down at the jar in his hand then back up Phil who was no longer bothering to contain his laughter.

At that moment a man walked up and very nervously purchased a jar of some type of lotion, bowing respectfully to Dan, but muttering not so quietly about curses as he walked away. 

Dan watched as others reacted in similar fashion.

He turned to Phil and regarded him closely for a moment. “Why do they react to you like that?”

Phil didn’t look up from where he was replenishing the items he had out on display, but Dan heard him sigh. Finally, he stopped and looked up, “they’re scared.”

“Of you cursing them?” Dan asked skeptically through drawn-out syllables.

Phil grinned, “you never know what I might do to you.” 

Dan frowned, “I know you’re joking. But I’m serious. I don’t understand.”

Phil pursed his lips, turned to face Dan full on, then leaned back against the stall’s wall, mirroring Dan’s posture. “They’re scared because they don’t understand it. They don’t know about plants, they don’t understand the healing properties. They’re commoners, Dan, most of them. They’re not educated. And so they fear what they don’t know.”

“But does it bother you?”

“It doesn’t _not_ bother me,” Phil admitted carefully, “but I’ve learned not to take it so personally.”

“You shouldn’t have to accept that, though. They shouldn’t dismiss you outright.”

“No. That’s true. But, you saw Aaron here, right? He didn’t treat me like that. And that’s because he’s not afraid. He’s a healer. He knows it’s not some type of sorcery. So, he may think I’m a bit odd or whatever, but he’s not on about curses and witchcraft whenever he sees me.”

Dan nodded thoughtfully, quietly responding, “I don’t want them to treat you like that.”

Phil smiled, an obvious blush colouring his cheeks. “I’m happy you don’t treat me like that. And I reckon that for now, that’s enough.”

Dan looked down quickly as a blush crept across his own neck and face, desperately fighting the grin threatening to spread across his face.

“So are you out here to purchase specific non-leprosy related goods, or just gracing me with your presence?” Phil asked, effectively changing the subject.

“Ah, well, I thought, maybe, you’d like to come and see our library. Maybe there are books there that you can use?”

Phil’s eyes lit up. “Really? I would love that.”

They sat there quietly talking about much more mundane things while Phil finished his sales. 

Soon enough Dan was leading Phil back to the main gates of the castle. He hoped to get them into the library without being noticed, but luck wasn’t on his side.

“Daniel.” 

Dan groaned. “Bollocks,” he muttered under his breath so that only Phil could hear him.

“Mum.” He painted a stiff smile on his face and stood straight as she approached. He watched as she glanced between him and Phil, who was bowing reverently beside him. 

“Who is this?” she asked, not impolitely, but not entirely friendly, either. 

“This is my friend, Phil. He was in town today for the market, and I’ve invited him in to look through the Royal Library.”

“Phil,” Karen repeated his name, and Phil rose up, standing just slightly shorter than Dan. Dan watched as she eyed him up and down carefully, pausing for a moment on his face. “You’re interested in our library?” 

“I am, Your Majesty,” Phil replied quietly.

Karen nodded, but narrowed her eyes. “You have a familiar face,” she mused. 

Phil visibly swallowed and Dan could feel him stiffen beside him, but he remained silent.

The Queen regarded the two boys carefully, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. “Is _Phil_ staying for dinner, Daniel?”

Phil’s eyes widened. Dan, caught off guard, began stuttering out a reply. “Umm, I, uh...”

“Think first, Daniel, please. Then speak.” Karen scolded, sounding amused. 

Dan dropped his head, took a deep breath, and turned to Phil, quietly repeating his mother’s invitation, “you’re welcome to stay, if you’d like. We can provide transport back to your home so you’ll not have to walk.”

Phil nodded reluctantly, “thank you, Your Majesty.”

“Right, yes. Off with you both, then.” 

Dan grabbed Phil’s hand and dragged him down the hall before they encountered any further interruptions. 

****

When they entered the Royal Library, Phil instantly stopped short. His jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide as he looked all around him in awe. 

“Wow,” Phil breathed out. He looked quickly at Dan, then back around at the books that covered every wall floor to ceiling. “This is even more vast… well, I mean, I’ve never seen so many books in one place.”

“Well, I should assume not,” Dan replied, “though, why this is all kept hidden away I’ve never understood. There are so many incredible stories in here. So much knowledge.”

Phil nodded, matching Dan’s thoughtful expression, “I’ve always thought that knowledge should be shared, not kept as an exclusive privilege for the noble class. Why shouldn’t the commoners learn to read?” 

Something about the way Phil’s comment stirred up the nagging feeling that there was something Dan was missing, something rumbling just below the surface. 

Dan narrowed his eyes at Phil, “that’s the second time today you’ve mentioned commoners not being educated or literate. Yet you’re educated. You’re not nobility. How did you learn to read?”

Phil stared at Dan, eyes widening as the implication of Dan’s question set in. Swallowing visibly, he glanced down at his hand as it ran over the spines of the books on the wall closest to where he was standing. Finally he responded, his voice barely above a whisper, “I was lucky, I suppose. I had teachers. Tutors. Once upon a lifetime ago.” 

“In this other kingdom that you hail from,” Dan supplied cautiously.

Phil just nodded briefly, but offered nothing further. 

Dan watched him for a moment, wondering for the first time if he should be placing such blind trust in someone who was so obviously hiding something. Shaking off the doubt for the time being, Dan moved over to the section they’d come in to find. He began listing some of the titles, “ _Herbal Remedies, Folk Medicine, The Medicinal Properties of Plants_. Here, they’re all here.”

Phil wandered over to stand beside Dan. He pulled books from the shelf one at a time, taking time to flip through them carefully. 

After a few moments, Dan heard him sigh.

“It’s not something I like talking about.”

Dan stilled, his hand resting on a book he’d been about to pull down from the shelf. He frowned, but calmly waited for Phil to continue.

“My past, I mean,” he finally finished. “There’s…. It’s not horrible. I’ve not done anything terrible. I’m just not entirely proud of myself. I made some decisions...” 

Dan tilted his head just slightly and caught Phil’s eye as he trailed off. The rest of the doubt dissipated instantly. Phil was clearly struggling with whatever secrets his past held. He was curious, though, and prodded gently, “like not going into your family’s trade?” 

Phil hummed, “yeah, I guess that’s part of it.”

“I’m not always proud of my actions, either,” Dan finally settled on, “but I’m not here to judge your past. Whatever you’ve done, or whatever you think you’ve done, it doesn’t matter. It’s who you are now that matters.”

Dan felt Phil’s fingers tug gently at this own. He didn’t even realize they’d been standing that close together, with barely any space between them. It seemed natural, their hands intertwined, and he let his thumb graze slowly across Phil’s skin. He heard Phil’s breath catch, and forced himself to look up to meet Phil’s eyes. They were clear as glass, crystal blue with flecks of yellow and green, just like the sea out his window when the sun’s rays caught the waves just right. Dan gasped silently as Phil’s gaze dropped to his lips briefly before locking with Dan’s once more, now darkened and full of desire. A silent question passed between them, and Dan’s lips parted in response, his eyelids fluttering shut. His entire body was on fire, the anticipation overwhelming his senses.

“Your Highness.” 

The intruding voice caused both men to jump back slightly, their hands falling away from each other.

Dan coughed to cover the flush that instantly blanketed his body. Something akin to an emptiness settled in the pit of his stomach as Phil moved further away and the moment passed without the resolution he’d so desperately craved. 

Uncertain that he’d be able to speak, he turned to the servant and motioned for him to continue.

“Dinner is served, Your Highness,” the man bowed and left, leaving Dan and Phil to stand there, still trying to regain control. 

Suddenly Phil started giggling. 

Dan turned to him, his eyes wide with confusion, quite unable to process the meaning behind this outburst.

But any questions died as soon as he saw the scene unfolding in front of him: Phil, stood with his back against the shelves, black fringe hanging loosely over his eyes, and his tongue poking out between his teeth to one side of his mouth in the most adorable way. 

Dan couldn’t help it. All of his emotions crashed together at once, and he dropped his head to Phil’s shoulder in an effort to stay upright as he dissolved into his own fit of laughter.

Finally he shook his head and straightened up. “C’mon, you knob,” he gave Phil a playful shove, “we shouldn’t keep the King and Queen waiting. Let’s go resign ourselves to family dinner.” 

****

Later that evening, as Dan lay in his bed, he let his mind wander back to his day. The villagers had been awful, and Dan hated that for Phil. He’d seemed to take it in stride, but Dan had also seen how Phil’s shoulders had sagged when he didn’t know Dan was watching. People who let fear control their actions needed to be educated. But what if they refused the education? And how could he even go about that? What if they just didn’t want to understand? Phil wasn’t a monster. 

Dan lifted his hand to his lips. They’d nearly kissed, they were so close he could feel Phil’s breath against his face. What would that life mean for them, if Dan wanted to court Phil instead of the Countess’s daughter? He didn’t suppose his parents would mind, they seemed to want his happiness above all else, so long as the kingdom was in good hands. Heirs weren’t a problem; Dan could rule and Adrian would still be next in line. 

Adrian. He’d been the most obvious at dinner tonight, throwing marked looks at both Dan and Phil, wiggling his eyebrows for Dan’s benefit and making some offhand comment about not having to worry about being exiled, which Dan was sure was a follow up to his ‘knocking up the commoner’ comment from days prior. 

Dan’s mum and dad had asked a few questions, but it wasn’t a full on interrogation. Actually, it was a bit suspicious, Dan realized now. Karen had been holding back. Though she did get an answer to the one question Dan hadn’t. 

“Fenwyth Kingdom,” Phil had replied quietly, when Karen had asked of his origins. Dan was sure he’d also cast a nervous glance in his direction, though he couldn’t fathom why. Gentle rolling hills and thickets interspersed with lush gardens and dense forests sprang to mind. It was a beautiful kingdom and a close ally. Dan had met the King and Queen of Fenwyth several times, and had recently begun engaging in trade route discussions with their Crown Prince. 

Fenwyth. Why had Phil been so hesitant to admit that? Dan didn’t recall any scandals coming through the rumor mill, so he doubted whatever it was could be that bad. And what did his mother think was going on between them? Had she sussed them out? 

Dan groaned and buried his head into his pillow. What was he thinking? His mind was making plans and worrying about a future he wasn’t even sure Phil wanted. That interrupted kiss aside, it could have just been them caught up in the moment. It didn’t necessarily mean anything to Phil. 

Dan tossed and turned for hours before settling into an uneasy sleep.

****

It was nearly a week later before he was able to slip out of the castle yet again. Dan was finding it harder and harder to wait between visits.

As the quaint house with the much too small door came into view, Dan again felt himself getting all giddy and fluttery. As he dismounted and hitched his horse to a tree, he heard Phil come out from the back of the house.

“I thought I saw you in the distance. I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me.” 

“Nay, tis I, good sir,” Dan curtsied to Phil, giggling as he did so. 

Phil rolled his eyes and held out his hand. “Well then, m’lady. Care to join me in the back? I’m picking herbs from my garden.”

“Oh, how romantic,” Dan fluttered his lashes and lifted his voice as he took Phil’s hand in his own, allowing himself to be led around to the back of the dwelling. 

True to Phil’s word, there was a large garden with all sorts of plants, neatly laid out in rows. 

“What is this?” Dan asked, awestruck.

Phil chuckled, “truly, it’s my herb garden. I’ve planted certain things here that I can grow on my own. So, what brings you here today?”

“You,” Dan answered honestly. 

Phil let his mouth fall open in surprise for a brief moment before clamping it shut and looking back at Dan. “You’re the Crown Prince, Dan. What do you really want with me?”

Dan was taken aback, but Phil didn’t look angry or accusatory. His face showed a genuine curiosity, as though he didn’t fully understand what Dan saw in him. So Dan looked him straight in the eyes and tried his best to reassure him, “I told you. I like spending time with you. You’re funny and kind and incredibly smart. You have so much joy, it’s annoyingly infectious. And you treat me like a normal person.”

“Do you know who I am?” Phil asked, his voice wavering slightly, but his stance defiant.

Panic briefly swept over Dan as Phil stared him down with that pointed question. Who he was? Dan wasn’t sure he understood, so he shook his head and waited for Phil to elaborate. 

“C’mon then, would you come in for some tea?” Phil softened his stance, and Dan tried to shake off the feeling that something was about to go either very right or very wrong. 

Dan did manage a nervous chuckle as he ducked through the door to Phil’s home, “really missed the measurements on this one, mate.” 

Phil gave Dan a playful shove as he followed him through the doorway. “It’s an aesthetic.”

“Right,” Dan glanced around. “Nice place, you’ve got here,” he added sincerely. 

Phil shrugged, “compared to what you’re used to, it’s not much, is it. But it’s a roof, a bed. I can’t complain.”

“And some houseplants,” Dan added, nodding to the large potted plants in various corners of the room.

“That one is Prudence. Over there we have Priscilla. And...”

Dan couldn’t help the laugh that escaped as Phil rattled off even more house plant names. When he finally calmed down, he saw the indignant look on Phil’s face and instantly had to stifle another laugh, “oh, mate. I’m not laughing at you, I swear to it. It’s the dearest thing I think I’ve ever heard. But you have to admit that naming your plants is objectively funny.”

Phil smiled and motioned for Dan to sit on a small sofa in the lounge area. Dan watched as Phil set about making them tea and pulling out some fresh biscuits from a tin, then setting it all on the table in front of Dan. 

As he sat down next to Dan, he looked into his teacup as if it held all of the secrets to the world. Dan remained silent, waiting for Phil to tell his story.

Finally Dan could hear Phil sigh quietly before taking a deep breath, “you’ve really no idea who I am?” He didn’t look up.

Dan shook his head before realizing Phil wasn’t looking at him. “No. I mean, you’re Phil of Fenwyth. Are you not?”

“I am. But more than that. Your mother recognized me.”

Dan narrowed his eyes, “I don’t understand.”

“I’m surprised that she didn’t say anything. But she knew. I could see it in her eyes.”

“Phil…”

“No, wait. I am Phil of Fenwyth Kingdom. I am the youngest son of Nigel and Kathryn, and my brother is called Martyn.”

Dan’s eyes widened as the familiar names of the King and Queen of their closest ally fell over him like a tonne of bricks. He watched as Phil glanced up at him, gave him a shy smile and then looked back down at his teacup. He sat in stunned silence, unable to respond.

“Right,” Phil continued, “when I was young, I knew what was expected of me. But I wasn’t in the spotlight, so I wasn’t required to socialize. I wasn’t expected to mingle and interact with people. You could say I was a bit of an unusual child.” Phil pursed his lips for a moment before continuing, “my parents gave me a lot of space to express myself. One of the advantages of having all sorts of things at your fingertips, I suppose. But I guess you’d understand that.”

Dan just nodded, his mind working overtime to process what he was hearing.

“I already told you the part of the story where I befriended the son of the castle healer. I took such an interest in the whole process that he really took me under his wing and taught me things. I loved to read and I read everything in our library.” He did look at Dan, then, with a shy smile, “it wasn’t nearly as impressive as yours, though.”

“You’re a prince,” Dan finally found his voice, “how did you end up here?” 

“As I got older I had a lot of, I guess they call it anxiety, about dealing with people. I was uncomfortable. To the extent that I was a bit of an embarrassment to my parents. Not that they ever said as much, to their credit. But I couldn’t handle it. And I would make my way out into the forest at every chance I had. Escape from reality, you know, since there wasn’t a special elixir to make it go away. I finally convinced my parents that this was the life I wanted. It wasn’t something they necessarily approved of, I suppose. But they agreed to it.”

“But… you were the Prince!”

Phil let out a rueful chuckle, “yes. I guess I still am, though I hardly think about that anymore. But Martyn is and was always the Crown Prince. And he is so suited for it. I miss having him around, but as we grew up and he gained more responsibility, he was around less and less anyway.”

Dan thought back to that day his brother was in his room lamenting the same thing. “Don’t you miss your family and your kingdom? The people?”

Phil shrugged, “I miss my family, yes. But I see them.”

“But what does your kingdom think of you? Surely they must wonder where you’ve gone? And how have I not known about you?”

“Ah, see, out of sight out of mind. The people were told that I am a very private person and have chosen a different path. Most haven’t seen me since I was very young, if at all, so they wouldn’t recognize me. I’m sure there are rumors. That’s why I came here. Much easier to hide away. To have my own space, become my own person. And I enjoy what I do and my little life. Or I did.”

“You don’t still?” Dan was shocked by that admission. He’d only ever seen Phil filled with excitement and joy when talking about his plants and his creations.

“No, not like I used to. I mean, I love being out with the plants and the trees. And I love creating things to help other people. But you’ve made me see what I was missing. Interaction. Friendship,” Phil bit his lip, “it’s a lonely path I’ve chosen.”

“But can’t you do both? Does it have to be so lonely?” 

“I honestly don’t know. What about you, Dan? Why are you always here on my doorstep or sitting on my table at the market?”

Dan fiddled with the cotton on his trousers, “do you mean why do I come back, or why did I come in the first place?”

“Both, I guess. You don’t say much, but I get the sense that maybe you and I aren’t too different. We just chose different ways to deal with it.”

Dan nodded, “I think you’re right. A lot of what you said, it’s like you know things. I guess I always knew that there was something about you that made me feel so comfortable in your presence. I never could quite place it.”

Phil’s hand closed around Dan’s and the gentle squeeze told Dan that everything he felt was reciprocated. He had no more doubts. 

So Dan continued, “I don’t mind being the Prince and I’ve made my peace with the fact that one day I’ll be King. I’m not the most natural in social situations, but I know how to handle myself, and hopefully I have time before that becomes my life, you know? But there are days in which I just stare out my window and wonder what else my life could be. If I was really given the opportunity to live it.”

“So just like me. Except you were brave enough to stay.”

Dan whipped his head up, his eyes meeting Phil’s. He shook his head, “no. Don’t you see? What you did wasn’t cowardice. That’s what you meant, wasn’t it. In the library, when you said you weren't proud of your past. But what you did took courage, too, Phil. To chase after your dreams. To turn away from the expectations of everyone else. Maybe it’s been brave of me to stay and face my life and my responsibilities head-on. But it’s no less brave of you to have chosen the path you chose. Don’t do that to yourself.”

“I need more tea,” Phil stood up and walked back towards the hearth, his hands shaking ever so slightly as he picked up the tea kettle. 

Dan swallowed. It was there again, the desire to break through his protective barriers and show his vulnerabilities. “I came out here that first day because I needed to get out and clear my head of all the restless thoughts. I came back because all those restless thoughts had turned into thoughts of you.” 

Dan saw Phil set the kettle back down and slowly turn around. 

“You’re my friend, Phil. The closest friend I have. And then, that day in the library, I let myself believe that maybe, maybe we could be something more?” Dan asked shyly, just barely glancing up.

“Maybe something more,” Phil agreed just as quietly, moving back to sit beside Dan, instantly reaching out to intertwine their fingers once again.

Dan followed the line of Phil’s thumb as it began drawing circles down to his wrist then back up the length of his finger. Phil’s touch was so soft and Dan let his eyes drift shut for a brief moment to collect himself. He was overwhelmed with raw, warring emotions tugging at his insides, fighting for dominance. Emotions he couldn’t even begin to fully identify in this moment. Dan let his eyes open and immediately searched out Phil’s gaze. This man grounded him, made him feel safe and secure and wanted and needed. There was something so easy about their rapport, something so familiar. But there was also fear and anxiety. Because right now, in this moment, Phil had the ability to tear it all away; to decide he couldn’t handle it, didn’t want it or didn’t want him all because of who he was. The fear of rejection was something Dan had never really felt so strongly before, and the anxiety began to win out.

He had to know. 

Dan swallowed down any inclination he had to ignore it all and moved into Phil’s space. He took a deep breath and gripped Phil’s hand tightly, afraid to let go. “Something more means a lot, Phil. It means going back to everything you gave up, just, with me instead. But even more responsibility. Because I will be King one day. I mean, is that what you want? Or do you want to go back to your family?” 

The half second it took for Phil to reply felt like years as Dan imagined his worst fears playing out in real time. It was almost disbelief, rather than relief, that he felt as Phil shook his head. 

“No. No, I don’t think that’s the path I was ever meant to take. I think I was led here for a reason,” Phil paused and scrunched up his face thoughtfully before asking, “do you remember that day in the forest?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Did you want to go into the forest?”

Dan snorted, “God, no. I was scared shitless.”

“But you went.” 

Dan swallowed thickly, then replied softly, “you made me feel safe and brave. I couldn’t have done that on my own. With you, I feel like I can face my fears.”

Phil leaned closer to Dan, searching his eyes, “that’s how you make me feel, too.”

There wasn’t any other option at that moment. There wasn’t any force that could prevent the inevitable from happening. Dan was either going to burst into tears or flames as the waves of fear and anxiety were finally erased from his thoughts. His lips crashed into Phils, hard, desperate and messy. It wasn’t perfect. Their teeth clashed briefly as they let the overwhelming need to close the gap overtake both of them. He could feel the pressure of Phil’s lips responding to his own, of their tongues colliding and fighting for dominance. He didn’t care that he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want this to end. Phil’s hand reached up and tugged at the hair on the back of Dan’s head and the fluttering in Dan’s stomach exploded until he had no choice but to pull away. He dropped his head until his forehead touched Phil’s, both men breathing heavily. Phil never moved his hand, and instead started running his fingers through Dan’s hair for what seemed like an eternity.

“I think my tea’s gone cold,” Phil mumbled as he dropped his head to rest on Dan’s shoulder.

“I have servants who can make you tea,” Dan laughed, wrapping his arms fully around Phil’s waist. 

Phil pulled away and glanced up, eyebrows raised, “does that mean you want to bring me home to meet your parents?”

“Phil, you’re an idiot. They’ve already met you.” 

“Well, yeah, but I was just Phil your friend, then.”

“Ah, I think my mum knew even then.”

Phil’s eyes went wide at Dan’s admission, “she knew?” He squeaked out. “But, we hadn’t….”

Dan shrugged. The look on Phil’s face was priceless, and Dan couldn’t help but lean back in. The kiss was less desperate, less frantic, but no less full of love. He felt Phil nip at his bottom lip, followed by his tongue soothing over it and begging for entrance once again. At some point Dan realized breathing was an unfortunate necessity, and he pulled back slightly.

Immediately a concerned and slightly panicked expression crossed Phil’s face. 

Dan shook his head and smiled warmly, “I needed to breathe. Don’t worry yourself into a frenzy.” Phil blushed and Dan shook his head fondly, “anyway, we probably shouldn’t rush this. I should talk to my parents.”

Phil nodded and stood up, allowing Dan to stand as well, “you’ll be back soon, no matter what happens?”

“Of course. But don’t worry, it will be fine,” Dan assured him. They said another goodbye, punctuated by a chaste kiss that lingered just a bit too long.

****

“You knew, didn’t you?” Dan leaned back against the door frame to his parents’ bedchambers. His mum, startled by his sudden interruption, collected herself quickly and turned to face him.

“Which part, dear?” 

“I dunno. All of it, I guess. Phil. Me. Whatever.” 

“C’mere,” Karen motioned to the bed next to her. As Dan went to sit down, she gently pulled his hand away from his mouth, and it dawned on Dan he was so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t even realized he was nervously chewing on his fingers. 

“You did, though,” he repeated. It wasn’t really a question anymore, and Karen just nodded in response.

“Dan, you’ve always been your own person. And someday you will make a terrific King. And I can’t wait to watch you become the man that you are meant to be. I know you feel like you have only one path to follow, but you can be your own person, whoever that is, and still be King. Or the Crown Prince. Or just Dan.”

“It’s hard to feel that sometimes.”

“I know, trust me, I do. And we’re hard on you because we want you to be great. And you will be. And you’ll make mistakes and you’ll figure out how to resolve them. That’s part of being an adult.” 

“What about Phil?”

“Philip, the lost Prince of Fenwyth. You like him.” 

Dan dropped his head, feeling the blood rush up through his cheeks, but he couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face, “I think I’m in love with him.”

Karen patted his knee and then pulled him in for a side hug. 

“Mum, what will people think?”

“When has that ever mattered? You wouldn’t be the first Crown Prince to take a man as your betrothed, Daniel, and I doubt you’ll be the last.”

“When did you know?”

“I don’t think I knew until you brought him here that day and I saw you together. I suspected things when you never showed any interest in any of your lady suitors, but it wasn’t my place to project that on you.”

His instinctive nod turned quickly into a frown as he recalled the day in the marketplace. “People are so mean to him, mum. They don’t even know him and they treat him like he’s a monster because of who he is. He says it’s because they’re scared. Because they don’t understand. But what happens if he becomes their King?”

“Well, as awful as it is to say, people respect titles. I don’t think they’ll be as outwardly mean to him if he’s introduced formally as the Prince.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say. I want people to know him and like him, not like him because of a title. I hate that. I feel that, too, you know? At functions, in the courtyard, in the market, people hardly pay me any attention until they realize who I am, and then suddenly it’s, ‘Oh how wonderful to see you’ and ‘Might I accompany you on your travels’ and everyone wants to be my best friend.”

“You can’t get away from that, I’m afraid. But you’ll learn how to weed out the polite from the fake. You must have seen something real in Phil.”

“Yes,” Dan didn’t even hesitate. “Definitely. He kicked me off the table and told me to stand on my own two feet. That bastard.” 

Karen raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to give Dan an amused but confused look.

“Uh, nevermind. In the market, it was just… it was nothing. But the point is, he doesn’t treat me any differently.”

“What do you want me to tell you, Dan?”

“I dunno. I guess what you’ve already said. What do you think Dad will say? Or Adrian?”

“Adrian looks up to you and nothing will change that. He doesn’t care who you love, Dan. It doesn’t change you who are. And your father? Eh, he may rule with a hard edge, but he loves you. All of you. And I think he saw it, too. Even if it wasn’t as obvious to him.”

Dan threw his arms around his mother, burying his head on her shoulder and letting relief wash over him. Everything really was going to be okay.

****

“Stop fidgeting,” Phil knocked Dan’s hand away from his mouth. “And stop chewing on your fingers.”

“You’re turning into my mum,” Dan scowled back at him. “What if this doesn’t go well?”

“For goodness sake, it will be fine. They already know you.”

“But I was just Dan, Crown Prince of Ryphor then.”

“Stop throwing my words back at me,” Phil gave Dan a gentle shove. “Anyway, keep it up and you’ll still just be Dan, Crown Prince of Ryphor, and we can go in there and discuss border disputes and trade routes between our two kingdoms and nothing else.”

“Prince Philip, Prince Daniel.” A castle servant approached the boys as they stood bickering with one another just inside the Great Hall of Fenwyth Castle, “Their Royal Majesties will see you now.” 

“Yes, thank you,” Phil nodded to the servant. When they were alone again, Phil took hold of Dan’s hand, planted a quick kiss on Dan’s closed fist, then met Dan’s gaze. 

Immediately Dan again felt at ease. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you, too. C’mon. It’s going to be fine,” Phil smiled broadly and then led the way in to his parents, hands still clasped tightly together.

As they walked into the study where the King and Queen were waiting, Dan took in his surroundings. He’d been here before, but under much different circumstances. Never once while discussing allied command posts or financial and economic issues did he imagine he’d be here for this purpose. But this is where Phil grew up, where he learned about plants and read books and daydreamed about escaping his royal chains. These days Phil stood tall and proud. He had his hair quiffed back for this particular visit. An air of confidence radiating off of him, just as it had when he’d been formally introduced to Dan’s parents and brother, and when he’d greeted the people of Ryphor Kingdom officially as Dan’s betrothed. 

A brief squeeze of his hand brought Dan back to the present, and he greeted King Nigel, Queen Kathryn and Crown Prince Martyn.

Their conversation was easy, and Dan saw how naturally Phil fell back into step with his family. They talked about reintroducing Phil to the people of Fenwyth. They talked about Phil’s plans to teach others about medicinal plants and to reach out and educate the commoners, to share information, books, knowledge, all of it. They talked about Dan’s desire to travel and learn more about different kingdoms and different cultures and to use that information to the enrichment of his own. 

Dan laughed and listened to stories of Phil as a young child, always seeing things just a little differently than everyone else. About the time he tried to grow a forest in his bedroom, and was upset when it didn’t work. And how he named all of the plants in the royal gardens.

“Some things don’t change, then, eh?” Dan had snarked, earning an elbow to his ribcage in return. 

By the time they’d retired for the evening, Dan was excited for everything that was to come. As they lay in bed, Dan curled himself around Phil and dropped a chaste kiss just between his shoulder blades. “I love your family. And I love you.”

“Mmm. Me too. My family, I mean. You, eh.” 

Dan gave Phil a hard jab with his knee which earned him a yelp and a giggle.

“Okay, fine. I love you, too,” Phil relented.

Dan watched as Phil’s breathing evened out, then quietly slipped out of bed and walked over to the window. Night had fallen and darkness had long since settled outside. But the moonlight was dancing off the top of the trees and glinting against the ripples on the surface of a river that ran through Phil’s kingdom. Dan could make out the dirt road that led towards the forest that separated them from Ryphor. The road home wasn’t quite so scary these days. He knew that he could have this - freedom to explore, freedom to find himself, freedom to be with the person he loved - and still have his home and his kingdom. The restlessness within him had settled, and though he still had a desire to feel that freedom, he was no longer controlled by it. 

A heavy snore and some rustling from the bed drew Dan’s attention back to the room. Phil just rolled over slightly and settled back to sleep. It was incomprehensible, Dan realized, how much one person could change his life. This one person who saw him for who he was, who trusted in him and who believed in him. Suddenly Dan needed to crawl back into bed and curl up around Phil. He didn’t look back out the window as he made his way to the bed. He didn’t need to. Everything he needed was in this room.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're so inclined, I can be found on Tumblr at [CaibrynM](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/caibrynm)


End file.
